The Lord's Constant Benevolence Towards Me
Lately, we have had a few "scares" which the Lord has carried us through. When fear strikes because my situation seems desparate, my emotions instantly kick in. It is then, that I must remember to turn wholly unto Him and surrender it all to Him, even when my emotions are in chaos. We do not sin because we have emotions, we sin when we fail to let God be Sovereign, even when everything appears to be falling apart. Amidst a myriad of medical bills for my pregnancy, we received a letter yesterday stating that our health insurance was terminated. Hubby and I were already planning out how to pay our large deductible, we could not fathom how to pay such a high bill without insurance. (Our doctor alone wanted $17,000, before insurance.) But within an hour, hubby made sure everything was all taken care of. When we first received the notice in the mail, I was a bundle of tears. Then, I remembered that God is in control and He is larger than this situtation. Though I was still scared, I was resting in Him. As always, God was faithful to help us. There are many lessons that He has been teaching me through this experience. First of all, I need to be careful where I place my trust. Health insurance is a wonderful thing, I am so grateful for it. But do I place more trust that it will provide , or that God will provide? I need to be careful of these securities which I rest in. I should find my complete hope and Provider in God. Another example of something that I have fretted over is life insurance for Stephen, in case some thing happens to him, so I would be able to be home with my children still. We have one life insurance plan, but it is only good till he is 40. So we do need to find a better one. But should I feel content that I will be provided for because we have life insurance or because my God is "big enough" to meet all my needs? I believe it is prudent to have insurances and such, I am merely stressing that we should trust in God to meet our needs, not merely other "securities". I also struggled for a long time about whether or not I should finish college from home since I only completed two years. I had been preached to my whole life that if something happened to my husband, I better have a good degree to provide for my children. I worried about this for years, until God led me to the fact that He has always provided, and will continue to meet all of my needs. I do not need to follow the patterns of this world regarding careers and degrees in order for Him to meet my needs. I need to turn more to His pure Word, rather than the erroneous opinions of man. We should nestle in the comfort of His arms as a child with his father.
"The grass withereth and the flower fadeth: but the Word of our God shall stand forever." -Isaiah 40:8